bitter hearts

why do i have all the shitty teachers

that are “easy” and nice

but can’t teach

fucked for midterms much?

i hate/like stuy’s high standards

it motivates me

but makes me feel like shit sometimes

i also hate how people feel down when they dont meet “stuy standards”

stuy fail is so dumb

but its still incorporated itself into my academic life

: howd you do?

: SO BAD

: aw it cant be that bad

: uh yea it can. i got 90

and it doesn’t even count this year, you have a whole year to prepare

so please don’t beat yourself up

you’re one of the smartest people i know at stuy

it’s so dumb how not getting a high 90 means you’re a failure

it’s also dumb how people underestimate each other

” honestly, i didn’t expect that from you “

well screw you if you think i’m stupid and don’t expect much from me

but maybe im being a hypocrite

because i hate it when too much is expected from me

” good job BUT you can do better “

i did do well, without trying too hard

so why can’t you just be happy with what i have

don’t go into a whole lecture on how much better i can do

don’t start analyzing my answer sheet

and don’t get my hopes up

” with these grades you can get into cornell for sure and maybe other ivys! “

i can see where you’re coming from but it’s not helpful

i don’t need to be worrying about a test i’m taking next year when i already have a shitload of stuff to worry about now

lockdown? wtf

how is this supposed to solve anything